


We Can't Have Nice Things

by BardsAmbrosia



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, Crushes, F/M, Fluff and Humor, SJW bs just because
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 10:52:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5245601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardsAmbrosia/pseuds/BardsAmbrosia





	We Can't Have Nice Things

"Do you know why I called you down here, Ms. (L,n)?" The principle asks, calmly, fiddling with a pen. "Do you have any idea?"

 

"...Noo?" You hadn't meant for it to sound like a question. You were pretty nervous. You hadn't said anything offensive while he was around today. You didn't see him today until now.

 

"A little birdy told me that you called Alex Wolfe a... _fag_. And from the look on your face...it looks like its true."

 

How did he know that? You said that only to a friend who had been crushing on him in class. And it wasn't for anyone but her to hear. _And a little birdy_? You guessed he had snitches around to get people in trouble.

 

You sighed.

 

"P.C. Principle. I said that to my friend, not to Alex. He didn't hear me say it and I didn't say it loud either. Do you have people snitching--"

 

Just then P.C. jumps up from his chair and slams his hands on his desk. Its frightening to say the least. You know hes beaten up people before....but he hasn't hurt any girls...yet. Oh shhhhhittt.

 

"YOU CALLED HIM A FAG REGARDLESS. AND DON'T QUESTION MY METHODS. I'M TRYING TO KEEP THIS SCHOOL SAFE. HOW DARE YOU CALL ALEX THAT, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? NO MEMBER OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY SHOULD BE CALLED ANYTHING SO AWFUL."

 

You raised a brow. "Listen! Alex isn't a nice person...and I didn't know he was gay. But anyways its not because of his sexuality. The guy is a total DOUCHEBAG and hes one of the vamp kids who thinks hes better than everyone whose not! A-and in the dictionary of 2015..fag doesn't even refer to gay people anymore..."

 

P.C. folds his arms and scowls at you. "Hmph. I understand, but its still not okay to call anyone that. In this school we refrain from insulting others. If you have a problem with a student or teacher then you come to me."

 

"I didn't say it to him! I said it to my friend in confidence. It was advice. She was making a mistake by having a crush on him!"

 

P.C. sits back into his chair. "I feel you but as your principle, I must reprimand you."

 

You could feel your mouth twitch, ready to tell this guy to go fuck himself.

 

"I want you to help to make sure the Goth Kids don't smoke outside while wearing this mask." The Principle opens his draw and pulls out a little white mask that can cover your nose and mouth. "Don't want to risk you getting lung cancer from second hand smoke."

 

"...uh." You really didn't want to get between those teens and their cigarettes. They would verbally tear you limb from limb. "B-but why can't you?" 

 

"I have asthma."

 

You narrow your eyes. _Seriously...._? Although, the last thing he's known for is lying. You sigh. "Ookay."

 

He smiles at you. "Good! You're a real trooper, Ms. (L/n)!"

 

You smile back. As fake as possible. 'Fuck you, you tight pants, muscled freak.' "I'm glad to help."


End file.
